Agitated

I seriously hate that feeling. You know there is someone, say your friend or someone you just dislike just happen to be in your life? Yes. Thats feeling. I don’t know why but it always creeps u into my head. Then, I just lost my mood for the whole day. Yet, you can’t do anything about it. URggghhh!!!

Yes. There is some I would say or certain people agitating my life. I don’t know how to fix it. Perhaps, they make stupid decisions that just bothers you, or simply hangs around to make sure you know that they are there, which you always try hard to avoid. Haih. Life is at such. I know I may definitely meet more of those kind of people in the future.

I’m making a disclaimer here if you happen to read this ‘lively’ blog. Haha. I’m not specifically talking about anybody, but just in general. I’m sure you do have your own parasites?

Stress mode : ON!

Yup that’s right. It’s the time of the year again where your eyes are as black as charcoal, have weird dreams about failing your exams and read and read till you go drunk.

No worries, I see another country coming my way, soon. Hurry!

Mum…

Its has been 3 months since she left us. Truthfully, it wasn’t a easy process. I still miss her dearly and sometimes think to myself that she is still around. I can still hear her nagging at me for not taking my vitamins, doing household chores and asking me to fetch her around. At that time, I dread all these tasks and used to think to myself  when do I have to stop?

As a kid, one of my worst nightmares is to see my loved ones die in vain. I’m sure you have had that experience before and then you would cry in your sleep and wake up the next morning to see you pillow is wet. I would scare myself and ask God please do not let it happen in my family. Not that fast. I guess God’s ways are higher than ours. We will never understand God, but God knows what is best for us, and particularly my mum.

Now, we are adjusting to this ‘new’ lifestyle. Definitely our family is different. It’s now down to four. We teared everytime there’s any occasion, especially happy ones going in our family. My dad especially. It’s sad to see him being lonely and crying alone at night. Imagine losing your partner.

Have I got past that? Honestly I haven’t. Not a 100% at least. I used to talk to my mum about everything and she is the only one that knows what I have gone through. Now, it’s to my boyf. Haha. Things are different. Now I can’t hope for her to do things for me, like she always does. I remember that day I was telling a friend how I only love my mum’s curry, and then I realize I can’t have it anymore unless I cook on my own. It’s a scary feeling. I feel that I was going nuts.

I still cry quietly at night when I think about her. When I look up to the moon, I’ll think of her. Not just the happy moments but also the painful period. The image that I have of her lying unconsciously in the hospital was unbearable. Seeing her fighting for survival and yet we can’t do anything it’s heart breaking. I can still recall the emotions that I was going through that time, my family and the people who came to support us. I remembered crying like there was no tommorrow. I remember hugging the millions of people who came to visit her, for the last time. I remember her in the casket, and most painfully seeing the casket in the furnace. There, my mother is really gone.

Life is so fragile. Anytime of the day, God may call us back to heaven. Are you prepared?As a reminder to myself, should I live the day to the fullest or live to the fullest of the day?

I keep hearing this from TV : It’s not painful to die for someone you love, but it is more painful to see someone you love die and you can’t so anything about it.

So true. Appreciate your parents, after all they have been through for you. Don’t wait till you realize that you are too late to appreciate them. I regret some moments when I disappoint her, but I know I have been a good daughter that she is proud of. Honestly, the happier moments were much much more. I’m glad. Very.

I love you mum. See you again. One day.

Dear Uncle Ho

Last weekend I visited your land you fought for independence and I must say I’m impressed with your effeort and vision for this country. Seeing your people fought for with their lives at stake and ignoring death is painful at the Remnants of War Museum. The tourturing guide by the US was an eye opener to many many tourists.

Not only that, I enjoyed eating pho, which you are famous for it. I especially like the beef pho. I also like the coconut ice cream and Vietnamese tea. All complements on a hot and sunny day.

Besides that, providing of services was a great idea of yours. Many places do not provide such services at a low price. For example, I had a home manicure and pedicure session. Me and my boyf also had a spa session with free sauna unlimited hours. Only thing that bugs me off is the sttitude of your people. They ask me for tips, but when I give it to them, they brush me off because I gave what they least expected. That’s not very nice I think.

I especially love the shopping arena there. How did you get imported good for a low price? That’s amazing.I would like to come back for the shopping, espeically in Ben Tanh market and Saigon Square.

Overall, I like it there and I actually don’t mind staying there. High class areastaxis, cheap shopping. Why not?

-rae-

Lately…

I have not been updating my blog. Whoops! And I actually miss American Idol for half an hour! Can’t believe it!

Well, I’m finally going back to school to finish up my final year. Trust me, I dread this but i have no choice. Well do we? I’m looking forward to start and end this year well with God’s grace cause it’s the only thing that can bring me through. Who knows? ACCA is a killer :S

However, I’m excited for my coming trip to Vietnam. Supposedly to be a short and fun vacation with babe visiting his parents. Can’t wait! Pretty excited visiting museums and of course shopping, like how I did in the US. Wheeee!!

I hope I’ll be back here again.  Haha. We’ll see.

I’m getting lazy. Like always. So me.

Of interviews

I manage to play the role as an interviewer helping you Rebecca in her class. The feeling is just awesome! I can’t describe it! I wish I would have the role for all of my years working in a company or hopefully my own.  I could actually experience for myself people breaking down, butterflies literally flying out from their stomach, trying to look for for words to say, my goodness. It’s just so awesome. 

I’m not mean, it’s just fun

But I have to give credits to those who succeeded in their interview. Some of them were confident (confident enough which turned out to be rude), sweet, humble and just nice. 

I have to think about my turn in the future. How am I going to impress my employers? Maybe now I know how. Nyeh nyeh nyeh….

I want…

1. to go back to America

2. travel around the world when I’m still young

3. meet my friends in Europe

4. get married and live happily ever after  

5. be an Au Pair, just for fun

6. to get more sholarships if I can

7. have an academic goal to achieve! I have too many!

8. many babies

9. be stronger physically, mentally and spiritually

10. a bigger soft toy

11. new shopping obsessions

12. my American habits

13. My American accent, totally Malaysian again

14. to try to be direct and know what I’m doing, in other words,  m-a-t-u-r-e and not be indecessive

15.  to do loads of travelling in between

Which do you think I’m likely to go crazy for? Hehe!

Work or play?

I like to discover and dig the juiciest dark secrets people would have. I love to make them tell me unconsciously. Sounds harsh, but I have to admit it, I’m pretty good at it Haha. But then keeping it all a secret, it’s definitely my thing too. I like google. I google anything, from history to people or friends which I have known but never see again. I do actually surprised myself so many times seeing them change so much over the years. There are those who are around the world and some who still a local at heart, but definitely carrying a whole different personality. People DO change. I constantly wowed myself. I still cannot believe it. It’s really funny I guess. Mind you, all these “researching” is done during work. So, 30% work and 70% play? I think it’s worse. Sometimes. Ssshh!

2009?

I guess. I have been not updating since I came back from the United States, with the intention of recording my events that took place over there. However, since I’m back I had so much of events, all great ones and more to come to write. But then, who reads mi blog anyways? Haha!

So far, I have visited, or should I say completed the east coast of the United States. For you folks who are confused with east and west, remember the east is where New York City is, the greatest city in the world!The Yankees are really like the Yankees, full house on the big skating rink in Central Park, awesome city skyline view at the top of the Empire State Building. That is New York. The city  I loved.

Then, I travel to Buffalo where I saw the great falls. Niagara falls. My my, it was as cold as crazy! I just stood there without taking any pictures. Not that I didn’t want to but my fingers were frozen so bad! Dang cold but dang beautiful! Imagine your boyf proposed to you beneath the falls on a warm sunny day, and then you can swim together, just lovely.

I’m headed for the metropolitan city in United States, Washington DC! I don’t know why but among all the cities I have visited, I love DC the best. Maybe because of the moderate temperature and the quietness of the city I could live there. Correction, I want to live there. 

I’m always so proud whenI’m watching movies and I could actually identify those places, especially the ones in New York City (it’s the most filmed city). Haha! I like the stares on my baby especially when I told him I have been there n there and such. He would just give me the most I-know-but-I don’t-care or your-such-a-show-off look, which ironically, I think it’s cute

Oh well, from now on it would be posts from Malaysia and only Malaysia. Nevertheless, United States will always be in my heart (I’m speaking for my friends all over the world) and treasured in my memories. Thank God for the opportunity. I can’t thank God enough.

Chicago

Back from the windy city! I love Chicago! It was a blast thanksgiving weekend. My first and hopefully not the last!

Chicago is a very nice city. I could live there. Done loads of walking till my bone hurts from my back way down to my legs. Oh well, it was worth the walk. It’s busy city, somehow I felt it was a just a taste of New York. I’m really a city girl but I’m becoming a southern girl, sweet tea and fried food. Haha..sweet home Alabama.

Oops, I was suppose to blog about Chicago. Anyway, it was a very fun and a fulfiling trip. We (Gabrielle and I) manage to see the north side, where all the happenings of Chicago are for free. They provide free trolley rides to visit the museums, Navy Pier and shopping places. We don’t even have to wait. To start off, we took the ‘Polar Express’ train from Scharmburg, a suburb of Illnois to downtown, for free! We travelled with our host family for a 10 hour drive, passing about 4 states so it was a pretty tiring road trip. They are there for a wedding so we just tag along. They were kind enough to host the two international monkeys. Hehe. Kidding!

First experience of downtown was tiring. We walk so much! Blocks and blocks of street but I love it. I get to see Chicago and be a Chicago-ian for once! You have to have strong legs or be really rich to live there. Parking is 5 USD for first 20 minnutes. Haha. Do your math. We went to Sears Tower, where we get to see the skyline of Chicago. It was so beautiful. The Lake Michigan makes it even prettier city. Just check out my facebook for pictures. They tell more than a thousand words.

Time for shopping! I made great deals there. Again and again, I think it’s a talent. I’m born to shop. Haha. Poor Jon! Muaks! The shops are located on the street mostly. We had to hop in from one store to another, all along Michigan Avenue. It was on Saturday, a day after Black Friday, but the sales were crazy! I manage to get purses from Guess for only 13.32 plus tax! What the heck?!

There’s more, but I’m not telling. Don’t want to spoil the surprise! Then, we went to Woodfield Mall, which was once considered the biggest shopping mall in the America. We shop again. Girl’s typical day out! Haha. But I hate to see my bank statement. It hurts

Oh, I have to blog about my first snow experience! It was so fun! My first attempt to make my snow angel fail. It was at a parking lot at McDonalds out of Chicago! Gabrielle drag me along and asked me to do it. We were laughing so much. It was fun but the ice was not hard enough so it was like cold water. Dang,it was cold! I love snow! Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Apparently, it was snowing frosties and I of course was sleeping for like 99% of my road trip, so I missed it. When I woke up, the environment around us was completely covered with snow. So, I guess I have to wait till I get to Buffalo to get the REAL snow. 

Wrap it up as the sountherners say! Chicago’s done!

Oh,football update: Alabama won 36-0 defeating the past 3 years champions, Auburn! Roll Tide! Crimson Tide!